Crotch Attack Nun was born after The Skips got kicked out of a Schenectady, N.Y. dive bar for playing a punk cover of ‘Ave Maria’ at triple speed. The crowd loved it; the owner, a retired Catholic church handyman, didn’t. As he threw them out bodily, he yelled, ‘You boys play one more note like that and the nuns’ll come down here and attack your damn crotches!’
Whatever that meant, who knew, but naturally, the band wrote the title down before their asses (or crotches, for that matter) even hit the sidewalk.
By the next rehearsal, it turned into a filthy, two-chord, basement-punk anthem about a nun who abandons her vow of silence for a vow of violence… below the belt. The song became a cult favorite in the college-town circuit, banned by three Catholic radio stations and accidentally played at one parish festival before the sound guy got fired.
To this day, The Skips claim it’s their “most educational” song.
—SM
