Ligga Me Balls, Ligga Me Bung is the rowdy, pint-sloshing, generation-scarring Irish folk anthem penned by Phill McTaliano — a man who has spent years clarifying, usually in court, that he is in no way related to SCREW’s Phil Italiano. Different families, different origins, different restraining orders. Phill claims his surname was once McTally-On-O’ — not Autelitano, close but no shillelagh — and immigration officers shortened it after he sang this very song during processing.
🎶 Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung,
Whack fol the da, use-a yer tongue,
Kiss me shillelagh, jig ’til we’re done,
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung!
Tweak-a me nips, jiggle me stones,
Rub-a me rainbow, rattle me bones,
Dance on me shamrock, swallow me gold,
Tweak-a me nips, jiggle me stones!
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung,
Whack fol the da, use-a yer tongue,
Kiss me shillelagh, jig ’til we’re done,
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung!
Fiddle me pipe, blow on me flute,
Slap on me arse in a green velvet suit,
Jig on me bollocks, ride me like nute,
Fiddle me pipe, blow on me flute!
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung,
Whack fol the da, use-a yer tongue,
Kiss me shillelagh, jig ’til we’re done,
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung!
Lick-a me clover, bite on me root,
Stroke-a me beard, polish me boot,
Grant ye three wishes—two if ye cum,
The third’s in me bung, now jig ’til we’re done!
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung,
Whack fol the da, use-a yer tongue,
Pot o’ me gold, and a pint o’ me cum,
Ligga me bawls, ligga me bung! 🎶
Considered by deranged scholars to be the “redheaded stepchild” of Whiskey in the Jar, others insist it predates all written Irish music — passed orally through drunk uncles who couldn’t remember any other lyrics. Phill wrote his version after a bender in County Clare where he woke under a table, missing one shoe, clutching a bodhrán he didn’t own, while elderly farmers chanted “ligga me balls” like it was an agricultural fertility ritual.
Recorded live in a pub where the ambience includes fiddles, applause, and at least one fight over who invented whiskey, the song has become a staple at weddings, wakes, christenings, divorces, and any gathering where Guinness flows faster than common sense.
—SM
